Misconceptions
by GriffinStar
Summary: Set about six weeks after the non wedding at the end of S3, both Martin and Louisa are still in the village, when something happens that leads them both to make assumptions about the other one's feelings - but are they the right assumptions?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination.

Set about six weeks after the Non –Wedding at the end of S3, both Martin and Louisa have stayed in the village.

**Misconceptions**

**Chapter one**

As Pauline went out of the surgery front door at the end of one Friday evening in late November, Joan pushed passed her to make her way in to the surgery.

"Ah Marty, glad I caught you," she said, as she spied her nephew putting some medical notes back in the filing cabinet.

"Auntie Joan, is something the matter?" Martin enquired, looking up.

"Well, yes actually, that is, nothing wrong with me, but…" Joan bit her lip, not quite sure how to broach the subject with him.

"Well what then? I haven't got all day you know, I was about to go and start my supper," he told her brusquely. Never having been renowned for his patience, since calling off his marriage to Louisa over a month ago, he was even more short tempered than ever.

"Have you…erm…have you seen Louisa lately?" Joan asked tentatively. She saw Martin stop what he was doing at the mention of her name, but then collect himself and carry on.

"No," he answered, and then abruptly turned on his heel and marched off towards the kitchen. He had no intention of discussing his feelings with Joan if that was what she intended with her visit.

Joan followed after him, determined to carry on and tell him what she had come for.

"The thing is Marty, I'm worried about her. I've heard from a very reliable source that she really hasn't coped with…things…very well, and then she passed out at work today."

"What do you mean, I haven't been consulted in any way," Martin now gave Joan his full attention.

"Well I think maybe she's been overdoing things, anyway today she collapsed, and had to be taken home," Joan informed him.

"What! Why didn't anyone call me, I am still the doctor in this village you know," Martin blustered, instantly very concerned.

"Louisa insisted that you weren't called apparently," Joan replied. "I assume she still feels awkward after…anyway if you two still haven't cleared the air between you, you can hardly blame her reluctance I suppose."

"I'm a professional, she knows that, I would never let anything compromise my duty of care, I should have been called," Martin stated furiously.

"Well that's why I'm here, because we're worried about her and thought you should be made aware."

Joan had been told by Sally Chadwick the school secretary, who had been sworn _not _to call Martin, but had decided instead to tell Joan, sure in the knowledge that it would then reach Martin.

"So what are you going to do about it, hmmm?"

Martin was already gathering up his medical bag and preparing to leave to make his way over to Louisa's cottage, and now ushered Joan out of the door.

"I'm going to check this out for myself," he told her firmly as he locked the door behind them. He and Louisa hadn't spoken since the day that she had walked away from him down the hill. What more was there to say? They'd both agreed, they wouldn't make each other happy. It was perfectly sensible and logical, and now life just had to carry on.

xXx

Martin knocked on the door of White Rose Cottage. No answer. He knocked again, more insistently this time. Still no answer. He looked up at her bedroom window. It was early evening by now, and being November it was already dark. Martin could see a chink of light showing under the curtain, so he was sure that she was there. He bent down and shouted through the letter box.

"Louisa? I heard that you fainted today, and I just want to make sure that you're alright." He listened for a reply. Nothing.

"I'm not going until I know that you're OK," he called again.

Still nothing.

"Look, this is silly, I know you're there," Martin shouted again.

Finally Louisa opened the door just a crack to talk to him. She looked very pale and drawn, and her eyes were puffy as if she had been crying.

"Just let me in, I just need to check you over...God, you look terrible," Martin said, shocked by her appearance.

With a big sigh, Louisa opened the door to him, realising that he wasn't going to go away.

"I'm fine, there's really no need…" she protested as Martin made his way in.

"I'll be the judge of that. I suggest we go to your bedroom so that I can carry out a thorough examination. I'll just wash my hands first," Martin told her firmly, brooking no argument and leading the way with Louisa, who resignedly made her way upstairs to her bedroom, too tired to argue.

As Martin washed his hands in the bathroom, and then reached for the towel, he glanced down and his eye was caught by something in the bin. He slowly reached down and picked it up.

_'Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test. Over 99% accurate' _the packaging of the box read. He stared at it for what seemed like an eternity. Obviously this could explain the fainting episode, but how the hell…?

"Are you pregnant? Is that why you fainted today? Was the test positive?" Martin stormed into her bedroom and demanded to know, waving the packet at her.

"Ah. Right. I see you found the packet ..." Louisa now had no option but to tell him, and she'd only just found out for sure herself. She'd not yet figured out what she was going to do – except one thing was certain. She wanted this baby, more than anything else in the world, whether Martin did or not. And she thought most probably that he did not.

"So? Yes or no, it's a pretty simple answer I'd say. Are you pregnant?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes. It was positive. I'm pregnant" Louisa confirmed to him, looking at his face and trying to gauge his reaction.

"Bloody hell! But...you were on the pill, so how on earth did this happen? Of course I'm assuming you remembered to take it, it's not exactly rocket science, is it?" Martin was completely shell shocked.

"I've been trying to work it out myself Martin. With everything that happened on our …wedding day…that wasn't… I never got round to taking my pill, and then after that there didn't seem any point, so I didn't bother with the rest," she informed him.

"How could you have been so stupid, Louisa? Surely you know how important it is not to miss one, and to take the whole packet?" Martin told her heatedly, unable to take in what he was hearing.

"Yes, I know, but I had other things on my mind actually," Louisa pointed out icily.

"And the last time we…erm...was…" he remembered only too well, having replayed it in his mind many times since.

"Yes…it was the night before we were meant to get married, wasn't it?" she agreed, also having thought about it frequently.

They had spent the night together before going their separate ways to get ready for the wedding. It made her want to cry all over again, remembering how happy they had been, regretting yet again listening to all the tittle tattle that had given her cold feet on the day, but fearing that Martin would now feel trapped if she told him that she had been going to ask him if they could try to work things out between them, before this discovery.

"Well, as it's still early days, a termination can easily be arranged…." Martin informed her breezily, assuming she had been crying because she was upset at being pregnant and didn't want to continue with it.

Louisa looked at him horrified.

"This may not have been planned, but I'm telling you now that I am going ahead with the pregnancy, I want this baby more than anything," Louisa told him emphatically, there was absolutely no doubt at all in her mind.

"But you can't, we're not married, not even together... be sensible... how would you manage... what about your job…" Martin started to say, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he had really thought them through.

"Don't worry yourself Martin. As you so rightly pointed out, this was my stupid fault, not yours, so you don't have to be involved, it's not your problem," Louisa stuck her chin in the air defiantly.

"Well, if you're not going to terminate the pregnancy, do you ... err…want us to get married after all?" Martin asked, confused. He'd only called off their wedding in the belief that he couldn't make Louisa happy, and that in turn would make him miserable, so he had let her go, even though it had broken his heart. But this changed everything, surely she needed him now?

"No, I don't want that, thanks. You don't have to marry me out of some misguided sense of duty. You told me you didn't want me and you certainly don't want a baby, that's plain to see, so let's start as we mean to go on. I think you should leave now, I don't want anything more to do with you, you are absolved of all responsibility from now on. It'll just be_ my_ baby." Louisa wasn't going to give Martin the chance to reject her all over again, it had all been far too painful.

"But Louisa, you need to be practical, how on earth will you manage on your own?" Martin was horrified at how this was turning out, he'd been caught completely by surprise and hadn't had a chance to even think about how he really felt, and now Louisa had jumped to the conclusion that he didn't want to be involved. She was such a difficult woman at times, so illogical. Still her hormones must be raging, he supposed, in her defence.

"I have always managed on my own, and I will continue to do so. What makes you think I need a man, especially one like you who so obviously hates the very idea of a baby – even if it is his own son or daughter?" Louisa retorted, hurt beyond belief at Martin's seemingly cold hearted response. Just for once, why couldn't he be happy, be pleased, pull her into his arms and tell her that he still loved her and would love their baby too? But no, not Martin. So he could just sod off out of her life, she would be better off without him, she told herself.

"Seeing as you couldn't even remember to take one simple pill at the right time, I would question your ability to manage on your own with a baby actually," Martin shot back at her, incredibly hurt that she wasn't asking for his advice or his help, she was always so damn stubborn and proud.

"Just get out Martin. Get out and stay out – of my life altogether. You're not my boyfriend, you're not my fiancé, you're not even my doctor anymore from now on, and you're not required to be a father to this baby," Louisa managed to shout out at him before bursting into tears and pushing him out of her bedroom.

"Fine, if that's how you want it," Martin shouted back as he rushed down the stairs, and out of the front door, slamming it behind him, before stomping off towards his house, pushing past several people in his impatience to get away, to retreat and lick his wounds in the privacy of his own house. He hadn't thought it possible to be any unhappier, but now he was. Louisa had rejected him all over again.

As she heard the front door slam, Louisa collapsed onto her bed and sobbed. Martin had broken her heart all over again because he didn't want her, and he didn't want their baby.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**Misconceptions**

**Chapter 2**

Martin slammed the door behind him as he walked into his house. He couldn't settle, and didn't know what to do with himself, so he paced up and down in the kitchen, his mind overflowing with everything that had just been said between himself and Louisa. Pregnant. She was pregnant. She was expecting a baby. His baby.

For some unfathomable reason an image popped into his head of his father lecturing him disapprovingly '_Got a girl in trouble eh? In the family way is she, up the duff_?' as if he was some irresponsible teenager. But this really wasn't his fault was it?

What on earth had she been thinking? How could she have forgotten to take her pill, the day after they'd slept together, and then to cap it all, not even bother to take the rest of the packet? Even a simpleton knew that you had to actually _take _the pill for it to work. And she was a teacher, responsible for teaching sexual education. He supposed that he could understand that she had been a bit upset and distracted, but calling off their wedding had been what she had wanted too, so she should have been relieved, there was no reason for her to have become a bloody mindless moron.

Then he recalled how he had forgotten to send off some blood tests the day that he had returned to work, something he had never done in his life before, and unforgivable in his professional opinion. It had meant calling back his patient to have the bloods re-done. Not quite the same thing, but it did show that even _his_ mind had not been functioning as normal.

He was disturbed from his thoughts by the phone ringing.

"Ellingham," he grunted into it.

"Marty, it's me, did you see Louisa? Is she alright?' Joan enquired, concerned.

"Err…yes, I saw her."

"And? What's the matter with her?"

"Can't say. Patient confidentiality," Martin answered tersely.

"Oh that's rubbish, you just don't want to tell me. Look, I did wonder if there was a chance that she might be…"

"What?"

"Well, some women get fainting spells when they're pregnant, so I just wondered if it might be possible…?"

From the silence at the other end of the phone, Joan knew that she had hit the nail on the head.

"Right. I see. Please tell me that you weren't your usual charming, tactful and sensitive self when you found out, Marty," she pleaded.

"I don't know what you mean," Martin replied defensively.

"Oh God. What did you say? You didn't blame her did you?"

"Well it wasn't me who forgot to take my pill, was it?" Martin replied acidly.

"Martin! No doubt she was very upset, rushing into getting married one minute, both getting cold feet the next. These things happen, I'm sure she didn't have to twist your arm to get you into bed with her after all did she, hmm?"

"Auntie Joan! That really is none of your business," Martin replied, highly embarrassed, but only too aware of how true that statement was. They'd happily fallen into bed together every chance they'd got, there just hadn't been very many chances in the short time they'd been together. It hurt beyond belief to accept that he would never experience that closeness with her ever again.

"Well, what are you going to do? The poor girl, no wonder she looks so ghastly and pale. She must be worried sick, as well as being so run down, and then no doubt having to deal with you subjecting her to one of your tirades..."

"I suggested that we should get married, but she turned me down, if you must know," Martin told her.

"Oh I can just imagine how you proposed – down on one knee professing your undying love? Or just a throw away remark that didn't ring true?"

Listening to Joan, Martin's conscience pricked him. Louisa _had_ looked terrible, and he hadn't even carried out any medical checks once he'd discovered the empty pregnancy test packet, he'd been so overwhelmed by what it meant.

He remembered guiltily what he had claimed to Joan earlier that afternoon - '_I'm a professional, she knows that, I would never let anything compromise my duty of care.' _But he had. He _had_ let his personal feelings interfere with his professional duties which was unforgivable, what if she collapsed again? He thought that there was a good chance that she might be anaemic again, she had looked very pale and ill.

"What do you mean about her being run down? What have you heard?" Martin demanded to know from Joan.

"Only that she has been working all hours, not eating properly, looking as if she isn't sleeping properly, that kind of thing, that's what I was told. I would say that she has been working herself into the ground to try to stop herself from thinking about things," Joan explained.

"I see, well I will try to get her to have a medical check up in any case," Martin said.

"Yes, I think that is the least that you can do for the poor girl Marty, so make sure that you do," Joan lectured her nephew as they finished their call.

Martin understood only too well about trying to stop 'thinking'. He had been unable to stop himself from playing over and over in his mind their last night together – the night it now transpired that they had conceived a baby together. It had been such a wonderful night, they had been so happy. Then self doubt had crept in, as it dawned on him what a fool he was to even think he could begin to make a woman like Louisa happy, and that he would then be miserable too for making her suffer.

He couldn't bear to be without her, but he couldn't bear to make her unhappy, so he had let her go, even though it had broken his heart and turned him into an automaton, just going through the motions of everyday life.

He was upset to think that she had let herself get so low and run down because she was so unhappy. It was his fault for hurting her and misleading her in the belief that he could have made her happy. Martin Ellingham, the misfit, the oddball, stupidly thinking that he could hope to make Louisa happy by marrying him – he must have been delusional – delusional with love, that had been the problem, love had clouded his judgement and common sense.

And now, on top of everything else, just as she had found out that she was pregnant, she'd had to deal with him blowing his top at her, calling her stupid. But then surely Louisa knew what he was like, that he always spoke his mind, that was just his way. It didn't mean that he wouldn't support her if she wanted to continue with the pregnancy, a termination had simply seemed a logical solution in the first instance, but of course once he had made that suggestion, the damage had been done and she'd immediately jumped in with her own assumptions of him not wanting the baby, and had thrown him out.

There was nothing else for it. Whatever the personal animosity between them, with her pregnancy and the worrying state of her health, it was his professional responsibility to somehow try to persuade her to talk to him again, to let him run some tests on her as soon as possible, even if she didn't want him in her life in any other capacity.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**Misconceptions**

**Chapter 3**

After Martin had stormed off, Louisa lay on her bed and carried on sobbing until she had no more tears left to cry.

She'd tried so very hard not to think about Martin since the day she'd walked away from him, because it hurt too much. It hadn't taken her long at all to work out that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life in doing so, but by then it was too late. She had found out that he didn't want to marry her anyway. She wouldn't make him happy, he'd told her. So she just had to carry on somehow, because life goes on after all, and you don't die of a broken heart. You just feel as if you should.

Louisa had considered getting away by going to London and taking Holly up on her offer of a possible teaching post at her school, but although she'd enjoyed her time studying at college in London, she knew that she wasn't a city girl, Cornwall was where she wanted to be. And it would simply have been running away, and you can't run away from your feelings, they would still be with her wherever she went. So she stayed put in Portwenn, and did her best to avoid Martin. Up until now it had worked pretty well, they had managed not to bump into each other, probably because Martin was also doing his best to avoid her too.

She hadn't been bothering to eat properly for a while now, well since she and Martin had called things off. There just didn't seem any point, any point to anything really, so she had thrown herself into her work to keep herself busy, completing paperwork until the early hours of the morning, so that she could collapse exhausted into bed and not think about what might have been.

She'd forced herself to carry on at work, even when she started feeling sick and unwell, because sitting at home with too much time to think was not an option, but this afternoon her body had let her down by refusing to carry on. Sally Chadwick had seen her collapse in her office and had tried very hard to persuade her to call Martin, but Louisa had insisted that she just needed to go home to bed and sleep. He was the last person she wanted to discuss her health with.

However, she realised that she couldn't put things off any longer, she would have to find out if the cause of her fainting was what she suspected it to be. A couple of days previously, she had been at the huge, impersonal supermarket outside Wadebridge where she did her shopping these days, mainly because she knew that Martin never went there. She had bought a pregnancy testing kit from the pharmacy there - knowing how many rumours seemed to emanate from Mrs Tishell's chemist shop, she'd decided against buying it in the village. Since then it had stood on her bathroom shelf, taunting her.

"_Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test. Over 99% accurate._"

Louisa knew that once she had done it, she wouldn't be able to ignore things or pretend that she didn't know. She wouldn't be able to bury her head in the sand any longer.

She had hoped against hope that maybe her period would start and that she wouldn't need to use it, after all being on the pill for part of the month was bound to have messed up her cycle. However, fainting today meant that she couldn't put it off any longer. She needed to know one way or the other.

Louisa hadn't wanted Martin to be called out to see her because she didn't want to have to explain to him what she thought the cause of her symptoms was. It wouldn't have taken him long to work things out once he'd started to ask the usual questions. Also she couldn't bear to see him and be reminded all over again of what she had thrown away, all because she had listened to stupid tittle tattle and gossip about Martin and his funny ways. She knew now that she loved him even with his funny ways – that was Martin. She missed him so much that she had even been considering whether she could pluck up the courage to ask him if there was any way that maybe they could start over again.

But of course, once she started to suspect that she might be pregnant, she realised that it would look as if she only wanted to get back with him because of that, and that wouldn't be fair on him. He was pretty old fashioned in his views and would probably feel obliged to offer to marry her – just as he had this evening, very unenthusiastically, when he had found out about the pregnancy.

What a disaster that had been too. If only he hadn't come round just then, when she had only just found out for sure that she was pregnant. But when she'd heard him banging on the door and hollering through the letterbox, she'd known that he wouldn't stop until she let him in. She wouldn't have put it past him to have used the spare key that he knew she kept under the flower pot by the front door to let himself in – he could be very determined when it came to his professional duties.

It didn't take much fathoming out to realise that Sally Chadwick must have found a way to let Martin know about her fainting episode, even though she had made her promise not to tell him. She supposed it was sweet of her to be so concerned, but it had made things very difficult now. If only she had had more time to think things through calmly and logically before having to face Martin's wrath at her slip up, maybe she could have presented him with a sensible, logical plan that he couldn't argue about, instead of them both losing their tempers and shouting at each other. But of course she hadn't had time to consider the best way to tell him, or what exactly she planned to do. She only knew, with complete and utter certainty that she wanted to have the baby - that is if the pregnancy went ahead with no problems. She was only too aware that at thirty seven years of age she was quite old for a first time mother. This might be her last chance to have a baby, and she simply couldn't even contemplate the idea of an abortion, whatever Martin said. Maybe she would have waited until she had passed the most risky early stages of pregnancy before telling him if she had had the choice. But it was all academic now – he knew, and he had to face the fact that it had happened, like it or not.

Thinking about it now, Martin's reaction had been pretty predictable, she supposed. She had to admit that she had been rather careless and irresponsible in not taking her pill. She hadn't been on it all that long, so it hadn't really become part of her normal routine to remember to take it. Then she had been so upset and distraught at calling off their wedding that she had simply forgotten all about it and it just hadn't registered what the consequences might be. She had always assumed that it would probably take months of trying if she was ever lucky enough to be in a relationship where they wanted to try for a baby.

Of course someone as sensible and practical as Martin would find that hard to understand. He was only reacting honestly she supposed, and it had been one hell of a shock for him. To him a termination would be a logical solution to a situation that he assumed was making her so upset - she had very obviously been crying when she'd let him in, not jumping for joy. He didn't seem to have any worries or hesitation in suggesting a termination, she guessed because at this stage the baby was little more than a few cells to him. He wasn't the one who had this new life growing in him, neither was he the one who had always wanted a baby.

Martin had many faults – he was tactless, insensitive and rude to name but a few, but he was honest – brutally so sometimes, meaning that he couldn't pretend to be happy about the pregnancy when he wasn't. Thinking about things, she had been very hard on him , it had been a complete bolt out of the blue for him, whereas she had at least had a little while of suspecting she might be pregnant to slowly start to get used to the idea.

The trouble was that he had wound her up by the way that he had reacted and called her 'stupid', but then she should know by now what he was like. Their meeting hadn't started well when he'd told her that she looked terrible – there was his brutal honesty for you, he didn't even attempt to sugar-coat his reaction to her appearance. He'd picked about the very worst possible moment to call, she'd been crying partly because she was happy at the thought of having a baby, but also partly because she was upset at managing to fall pregnant by someone who didn't want to be with her, and whom she was sure wouldn't want the baby.

Louisa knew that she'd hoped to change Martin in the past, make him into someone that he wasn't, before eventually working out that she should learn to accept him as he was, with his faults, and try to appreciate his goods points rather than dwell on his bad ones. If they hadn't rushed into getting married, she would have had more time to realise this and not called off their wedding in a blind panic, and maybe then she could have reassured him that they _could_ make things work between them.

She supposed she at least owed him the right to choose for himself whether to be involved or not – once he had had time to calm down and get used to the idea. Even if he didn't want to be with her, she owed their child the chance to know its father, she decided. She was still pretty certain that he would _not _want to be involved from his clearly horrified reaction, but then at least her conscience would be clear because she would know that she had given him the chance and that it was his choice to walk away.

Louisa knew that it wasn't going to be easy to manage on her own, but she was very determined that she would do it and prove Martin wrong. He seemed to think that she was incapable of bringing up a child – as if he would know anything about it anyway, he'd always shied away from any contact with children, whereas her whole career had been spent working with them.

Somehow she would have to summon up the courage to contact him and try to get him to agree to talk, after all the nasty things they had said to each other in the heat of the moment. She would also have to arrange to change over to the Wadebridge surgery because she would be needing their services from now on. She really didn't feel too great at all, so she ought to book a check up, having told Martin that he was no longer her doctor. She heaved a big sigh. All this was not going to be easy, and she really wasn't sure that she had the energy to cope with it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination**

**Misconceptions**

**Chapter 4**

Neither Martin nor Louisa slept very well that Friday night in their respective homes. Both realised that they could have handled things so much better. Both came to the same conclusion - they needed to talk, like sensible adults, to clear the air and sort things out. But neither knew quite how to start the ball rolling. However, that dilemma was resolved when Louisa got up early in the morning and went to the bathroom.

"Oh no! Please no…" Louisa whispered, shocked by her discovery. Seeing the evidence of a possible miscarriage frightened her, but there was no doubt in her mind about who to call.

Without a moment's hesitation, she picked up her phone and called the number that she still had on speed dial.

"Ellingham," replied the familiar deep voice.

"Martin…it's me, Louisa." She was relieved that he had answered, and that he wasn't out on another call.

"Louisa, look I think we…"

"I'm bleeding. I think I'm having a miscarriage," she told him bluntly.

"Stay put. I'm on my way," Martin replied as he leapt out of bed. All thoughts of their argument were gone as he quickly got dressed and gathered up his medical bag. Within a very few minutes he was knocking at the door of her cottage.

"Thanks for coming Martin, I wasn't sure …after what I said...if ..." Louisa opened the door to let him in, her face even paler than before.

"You did the right thing in calling me. Now let's get inside so that I can make a proper assessment of your symptoms," he replied, following her inside and upstairs to her bedroom once more. Again he went to her bathroom to wash his hands, and found he couldn't help glancing down at her bin, remembering what he'd discovered last time - but this time it was empty.

Worried as she was, now that Martin was here Louisa felt reassured, his solid, dependable presence calmed her. He was in professional mode and was not giving any indication of his personal feelings.

"So, is the bleeding heavy? Do you have any cramping pains?" he asked, as he took her blood pressure.

"Not very heavy, no, and no cramping pains," Louisa replied, biting her bottom lip nervously.

"And the pregnancy test you did was definitely positive?"

"See for yourself," Louisa pointed over to the bedside cabinet where the test still stood, clearly showing a blue line to indicate a positive result.

"I see. So, when did this bleeding start?" he continued, as he now listened to her heart, 'sshhing' her for a brief moment as he did so.

"Only this morning, just before I rang you," she told him, studying his face as he worked. He was wearing his serious, frowning expression, his usual one for when he was concentrating, Louisa noted. She knew all of his expressions so very well.

He pulled her bottom eyelid back to check what colour the inside of it was – it was very pale, he discovered - a strong indication of anaemia.

"I'm going to take some blood, get your iron levels checked out," he informed her.

Louisa watched as he drew the blood, looking away as he always did. Once he had safely stored the sample away, he spoke to her.

"At least we are pretty sure about the date of conception," he glanced at her quickly as he said this, before clearing his throat and continuing, "As it's still a bit too early to be able to pick up the foetal heartbeat with my monitor, I am going to arrange for you to have an immediate ultrasound scan at the hospital to make an accurate assessment of the situation. Bleeding at this stage of pregnancy is not uncommon, and doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to miscarry. However, if it proves to be the case that you are experiencing a miscarriage, then there will be nothing we can do, nature will take its course. It's very common at this stage, about 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, most commonly due to chromosomal abnormalities, which occur more frequently in older expectant women in any case."

"Right. I see."

"I'm just going to make a phone call, then I'll take you to the hospital for the scan, so rest here for now," Martin told her as he walked out of her bedroom, taking his mobile out of his pocket as he did so.

Louisa heard him talking on the phone about a 'possible spontaneous miscarriage', and 'ruling out a chorionic haematoma' and then making arrangements for her to go straight to the Ultrasound unit. It was Saturday morning, so there would not be any clinics taking place, and Martin didn't have to worry about cancelling his surgery.

"All arranged, I'll just leave you to get dressed, then we can be on our way," he informed her, as he popped his head round her bedroom door.

Louisa didn't argue with him. She really didn't feel up to driving over to the hospital herself, and truthfully she really wanted Martin to be with her, whatever she had told him the evening before about not needing him. She was so scared and he was so calm, he was just what she needed right now.

Martin waited downstairs while she got dressed. He was very thankful that Louisa had called him in spite of the harsh words that they had exchanged the evening before. He wanted to look after her whatever the outcome turned out to be, now that she seemed prepared to accept his help and support, which he was more than happy to give, despite the impression he'd managed to give her before. He didn't let himself dwell too much on how she was going to react if the scan showed that a miscarriage was inevitable, the best course of action at the moment was to establish just what was going on – a scan would show whether or not a foetal heartbeat could be detected.

xXx

As they drove over to the hospital in his car, Louisa found herself saying,

"Look, I'm really sorry I forgot to take my pill, I don't know what came over me, I must have been away with the fairies or something not to have realised what could happen. It must have been a hell of a shock for you, finding out about…this the way that you did yesterday."

"Yes. It was. But I suppose that I could have handled it better, I'm just not very good at being…"

"Sensitive? Tactful? Nice?" Louisa suggested.

"Alright, alright, no need to rub it in. Anyway, you weren't exactly…"

"Logical? Sensible? Reasonable?" Louisa again finished his sentence for him.

"Exactly," Martin confirmed wryly.

"Hmm. Well it was a shock for me too, but now maybe it's not going to happen after all," Louisa said in a shaky voice, as a tear started to roll down her cheek.

"No point in getting yourself all upset, this scare may turn out to be nothing after all. How are you feeling, any pains at all?" Martin asked her, not wanting her to break down in tears – he knew he was pretty hopeless at dealing with situations like that, he never knew what to say, and as he was driving, there would be nothing he could do anyway.

"No pains, thankfully. And I'm sorry, but I can't help getting upset, because I really, really want this baby, even if you don't."

"I never said that I didn't want it, you're putting words into my mouth. I just never thought anyone would ever want a baby with me. I mean I'm hardly 'father of the year material' am I? I'm hopeless with children."

"Hopeless with other peoples' children, maybe, but it's different when it's your own child," she pointed out.

Martin wasn't convinced, but didn't make any further comment as they had now reached the hospital and pulled into the car park. As they walked into the reception area, Martin felt Louisa slip her hand into his, so he gave it a reassuring squeeze, hoping that it conveyed in some way his support to her. He thought that if he tried to say anything, it would probably come out all wrong, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause any further upset.

xXx

Martin covered Louisa with a blanket as she lay fast asleep on her couch at home. She was clearly exhausted. He'd made her put her feet up and rest while he made her something to eat on their return from the hospital, and then as he'd cleared up afterwards, she'd snuggled down on the couch and was asleep within a minute or two.

He looked round her kitchen, appalled at the lack of provisions. He'd struggled to find enough ingredients even for a basic omelette. It was clear that she hadn't been looking after herself at all recently. While she was still fast asleep, he walked down to the local mini supermarket, and bought a selection of provisions to stock up again. On his return, he let himself in with the spare key that he knew she kept under the flower pot by the front door, despite his lecturing her on how it wasn't at all sensible. Now for once, he was glad that she had ignored his advice.

As he put away the shopping, he couldn't help recalling previous occasions spent here with Louisa in her cottage. Happier times, when they had gone out on her little patio, and looked out over the sea together. Meals prepared and then eaten together. Nights spent in her bedroom together, when he'd experienced feelings that he hadn't known existed. Looking back, he realised that everything had always been fine when it was just the two of them, so where had it all gone so wrong? It had only been when other people interfered, gossiping and making remarks, that his doubts had crept in. Why had he paid any attention to them? If they were happy together on their own, what else mattered?

Louisa now stirred, stretching and yawning.

"I am _so _sorry, how rude of me to have crashed out like that," she apologised as she remembered where she was and everything that had happened.

"Your body was telling you to rest, so I'm glad that you did," he answered.

"Oh Martin, come here, please," Louisa said tearfully, holding out her arms to him. He was only too happy to comply with her wishes, going straight over to her on the couch.

She pulled him to her, kissed him on the lips and then buried her head in his chest.

"Thank you for being with me today. I don't know how I would have got through it all without you there," she told him.

"I'm just glad you called me, and glad that I was able to be with you when…" he replied softly, his voice breaking slightly as he cleared his throat to mask his emotions, now sitting next to her on the couch, and putting his arm around her protectively as she rested her head against him.

"It was pretty amazing, wasn't it?" Louisa smiled up at him through her tears.

"Yes, yes it was," Martin agreed.

Seeing the image of their baby, and the baby's heartbeat on the scan had affected him in a way that had taken him completely by surprise. He understood now why Louisa couldn't bear to even contemplate a termination. This was a human life, it was real, not just a bunch of cells.

"Louisa, you do understand that a little spotting of blood is not that unusual in early pregnancy? And now that the bleeding has stopped, and the scan showed everything is normal, you'll be able to relax a bit more and stop worrying?"

Louisa smiled back at him and nodded her head. She felt guilty that maybe she had overreacted, but she had been worried sick.

"So now we can concentrate on looking after you … and the baby, get you well and strong again. Why have you been neglecting yourself? Clearly you haven't been eating properly," Martin had to ask.

Louisa didn't look at him as she played with the edge of the couch.

"I..I.. just didn't have much appetite. You know, after…" she quietly replied.

"But it was what you wanted, to call things off…" Martin struggled to understand.

"It was what I _thought_ I wanted for a few hours because I was stupid enough to listen to other people's stupid opinions and let them influence me," Louisa now confessed, still not looking at him.

"Are you saying…you regret..." Martin didn't dare to let himself hope that she was saying what he thought she was saying.

"When I woke up the next morning I knew that I'd made a huge mistake, a massive mistake by not listening to my heart, but listening instead to other people who didn't know you, the _real_ you. But it was too late, because you'd already decided that you didn't want to marry me anyway. You said I wouldn't make you happy, and you were probably right, so there was no point in telling you what a fool I'd been."

Louisa couldn't help it, now that Martin was here, being so supportive and talking calmly with her, the floodgates were opening and she just had to pour her heart out to him, let him know that she still loved him.

"But…but...the only reason you wouldn't make me happy was if _you _were unhappy, and I could hardly blame you if you had second thoughts about marrying an old grump like me , how on earth could I expect to make a woman like you happy?" Martin had taken hold of Louisa's hand as he was talking, and Louisa held on tight to it as she tried to work out just what he was saying. Did this mean he still loved her too?

"So where do we go from here? We've made a right cock up of things so far, haven't we?" Martin asked as he kissed her gently, and smoothed her hair from her brow, unable to take his eyes from her face, her beautiful face that he knew he would love until his dying day.

"I don't know Martin. Let's just take things slowly, spend time together, not have any pressure or worry about getting married for now. Let's just get used to being together before this baby comes," she suggested, studying his face just as intently, loving his soft blue eyes as they looked at her with such tenderness.

"Sounds perfect to me. Let people say whatever they want, they can all bugger off and leave us be," Martin said with some feeling. "But as for this baby – I think I'm going to need a lot of help in getting used to the idea, and I can't help but feel sorry for the poor little mite, being inflicted with a father like me."

"Martin! Don't talk like that! You're going to be just fine as its dad, and anyway, you've got months to get used to the idea. Mother Nature is pretty clever like that, gives you time to adapt," Louisa insisted.

"Hmm. Just don't expect too much, I'm useless with babies. I've always avoided obstetrics and gynae like the plague actually. I just don't feel comfortable handling babies, they're so small and they make me feel so clumsy and useless," he confessed.

"Well, you're going to have your own one to practice with and overcome your fears, God willing that nothing goes wrong," Louisa worried.

"Everything was normal with the scan, the bleeding was only slight and has stopped , so as far as anyone can tell, there is no reason why anything should go wrong…that is as long as you look after yourself properly from now on. As your recent diet has been woefully inadequate in ensuring optimum nutrients, I'm going to start you on a course of iron tablets. Unfortunately they can have the side affect of causing constipation, which in turn can lead to haemorrhoids or piles, which are very common in pregnancy, so you must ensure that you have a sufficient level of fibre in your diet, even if that causes excessive flatulence….."

"Martin! I don't think that…"

"And of course you've got to start letting other people help you, instead of being so stupidly pig headed, stubborn and independent as you usually insist on being, I really don't understand why someone as supposedly intelligent as you insists on acting in such a moronically …" Martin started to lecture her.

"And it was all going so well…" Louisa said as she put her hand over his mouth to shut him up, but for once not taking offence as she might have done previously. This was Martin, the Martin that she loved – rude, tactless and insensitive. He'd never change, and she didn't actually want him to, she finally realised, as she kissed his lips to stop him talking any more.

The End

_ Thank you for taking the time to read my story. It would be very nice if you would also take the time to leave a review._


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